It is the Thursday before Em goes into daycare...Maybe.
I go into my scheduled meeting HR and my boss. This is it! I'm pretty excited.
We sit down and HR starts and tells me that it doesnt look like we can't give you anything you asked for...
HR goes on to tell me that the Senior Executives really need someone to be onsite at all times and when one member of the IT team is out it really puts the company at risk.
I smile. I tell them that I understand completely. I thank them for letting me have a chance to present my request and for not shooting me down right away.
After 6 minutes the meeting is over.
I go to my desk and I silently cry.
Then the anger sets in.
I dont believe them. I think they just dont want to set a precedence. There is another pregnant co-worker here and they dont want to give her ideas. Its not fair. 90% of everything I do is already done remotely or can be done remotely. My boss was for it. HR was for it. What is the problem?
The Problem is old-fashioned thinking by men who make more than enough money that they didnt have to worry about whether or not their wives should work. And if she wanted to work they can afford day care and/or nanny and it would not hurt their checking accounts.
They just dont like it.
They are old fashioned men.
I am angry and hurt.
Monday, November 15th.
I go into my scheduled meeting HR and my boss. This is it! I'm pretty excited.
We sit down and HR starts and tells me that it doesnt look like we can't give you anything you asked for...
UGH! Okay...dont cry. Put a smile on. Its going to be okay. Why in the world did they have to take more than a week to tell me its not going to work?!
HR goes on to tell me that the Senior Executives really need someone to be onsite at all times and when one member of the IT team is out it really puts the company at risk.
I smile. I tell them that I understand completely. I thank them for letting me have a chance to present my request and for not shooting me down right away.
After 6 minutes the meeting is over.
I go to my desk and I silently cry.
Then the anger sets in.
I dont believe them. I think they just dont want to set a precedence. There is another pregnant co-worker here and they dont want to give her ideas. Its not fair. 90% of everything I do is already done remotely or can be done remotely. My boss was for it. HR was for it. What is the problem?
The Problem is old-fashioned thinking by men who make more than enough money that they didnt have to worry about whether or not their wives should work. And if she wanted to work they can afford day care and/or nanny and it would not hurt their checking accounts.
They just dont like it.
They are old fashioned men.
I am angry and hurt.
Monday, November 15th.
Em’s first day of daycare. I’m so sad. So very sad. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. God was supposed to provide a way for me to stay home and raise my baby. Why didn’t He pull through? I’ve been praying about his since I found out I was pregnant. I changed my career so that I can stay home with my baby when I had one all the way back in 2008. I don’t understand and I’m sad and angry with God.
I drop Em off at daycare. And I had to get out of there because I am about bawl. On my way out another mom tells me that it gets better after the first week.
My female co-workers tell me they felt awful at first about day-care but that their kids were fine.
I DON’T CARE! I know she will be fine. But I want her to be better than fine. I want to raise her. I want her to be with her loving mom and dad. I don’t want to be so tired that I become a crappy wife, friend and mom. I don’t want all my interaction with my baby to be accompanied with guilt and wondering that I could be giving her more and doing better. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Why didn’t God back me up on this?
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