I Want to be One of "Those" Women

You've seen them. Perhaps you are "them". Those women that post their pics on Facebook after they just delivered their baby and they look INCREDIBLE! I almost never look at their new baby because I am in shock with how un-sweaty, un-blotchy and un-swollen they look. Their hair looks perfectly quaffed and their eyeliner and mascara are in place and not all smudgey looking. How does this happen? If it is you, how do you do it?
I'm really speaking out of jealousy here. My "post-labor" pic is not flattering at all!!! I took one because it is expected and I thought no one would see it. Well Husband REALLY wanted to show his co-workers the pic and I reluctantly said okay. Three weeks later I went to his work picnic and everyone told me how great I looked. I looked just okay, but their only reference of me was that post-labor pic, so I probably looked like a super model in comparison.
This time around I am going to try to look like one of "those" women.
"Why?" you may ask. "That seems pretty vain." And you are right it is TOTALLY vain, but guess what, I don't care! There is so much out of your control when  you go into labor and deliver your baby. You can have a Birth Plan but that is just your ideal of how you would like things to go. You can go early, late, in public, or home alone. It can go quickly or take forever, you may need drugs, the drugs may not work, you may need surgery...SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN! So let me at least try to have control of ONE thing and that is my "post labor" pic.
My Birth Plan is go natural again. My Post Labor Pic Plan is to go all faux. I plan to have my hair in a tight bun or braid of some sort. I will have eyeliner, mascara and any other cosmetic I can manage to get onto my face while having contractions. I also want to take a note from Christina Applegate and search for that perfect headband. And if I still look like a hot mess in that post-labor pic, I will use Photoshop.
Here is our pic after Em was born...

YOWZAH!!! After Em was born, this was the pic Husbands co-workers saw...OF COURSE I looked good after that. Anything would!

Ill just use this pic from our wedding, I look nice and young, I think people will buy it.

Ill just mash them up, like so...

Not so believable, how about this...

Well I still have some time. Vain or not, just give me this. 

My Curly Haired Girly

Emily gets compliments and comments on her hair almost every time we go out and about.
I occasionally am asked how I manage her hair.
So far its been a little bit of experimenting and a lot of practice.
I thought I would share how we maintain Emily's locks. I am also open to suggestions.

To Start, here are the products we use:

Baby Hair Product by legendaryee 

 1. Before we get ready for a bath I spray Em's hair with Johnson's No More Tangles Detangling Spray. 

2. While in the tub, I apply Johnson's Extra Conditioning Shampoo for Think/Curly Hair. 

3. Then before I rinse, I use a regular conditioner and apply on top of Em's already lathered hair. I use Suave with Almond and Shea Butter. I use this brand mostly because I don't want to use my expensive conditioner for color treated hair on my girl. 

4. I wait a couple minutes before rinsing. I let Em play and give her a scrub, then I rinse. 

5. Once her hair is rinsed I begin to brush out the tangles. I grab a tuft of hair and hold it in my palm and hold  tight with my index finger and thumb. Then I take a paddle brush and brush the tangles out against my hand and arm. That way it pulls on her head less and she feels less pain. She still doesn't like it, but it seems to be the best way to avoid pain. I take tufts from all over her head until the tangles are gone and I can run my fingers through without them getting caught. Em moves around a lot so it takes a little time and depending on her mood she may or may not cooperate. It takes between 5 and 10 minutes to get all the tangles out. 

 

6. After our bath I then add Johnson's No More Tangles Leave in Conditioner. This is the product we use the most. I try to apply it everyday and every time we go out. It keeps her hair from turning into a frizzy fro and keeps her curls springy looking. 

7. Finally I accessorize. That part is the most fun. Since she turned one, I've been using adult sized headbands. Em's noggin has been in the 80th to 90+ percentile, so I don't want anything too tight on her head. She wears Goody stretchy head bands the most. I use them too :) Old Navy also has super cute head bands, (the adult size) and they are reasonably priced. I also buy little pin-ons from H&M to attach to her head bands. 

Goody Headband from Giant and flowers from H&M

8. One more thing I have been trying to do is have Em wear a handkerchief on her head. I am hoping that it will help her curls dry "down" vs. up in the air. But alas she will only wear the handkerchief on her head for about a minute. It is cute while it lasts. 

I hope this was helpful to anybody with a curly haired kiddo. And if anyone has any tips they would like to share, Please do!

Johnson & Johnson K-BB-1006 Johnsons Shea & Cocoa Butter Baby Lotion by Johnson & Johnson for Kids - 15 oz Lotion

These Are My Confessions

These Are My Confessions Rants and Raves

In the tune of Usher please

There are 3 statements that people make that really really irk me. 

What someone says: "Wow, You clean up nicely" 

What they mean: "Wow, Judging by the way you look all the other times I've seen you, Frankly,  Im surprised you can look this good. Why don't you put in an effort to look good all the time, because obviously you are not putting in any effort at all-whatsoever."

How I feel: Offended

What someone says: "Somebody forgot to take their medication today"

What they mean: "I'm making an effort to be funny here, at your expense. Your reaction to this particular situation is not validated or warranted in my opinion. Basically, you are overreacting. And since I love to use cliches that were overused by 1975, I'm going for it here. You see its funny because I'm insinuating that you are crazy. But really I'm just telling everyone within an earshot, that I'm not very funny at all"

How I feel: Annoyed and Offended

What someone says:" Somebody has a lot of time on their hands"

What they mean: "Wow, you spent time on doing something creative? I am WAY too important and busy to be spending my precious time the way you are spending your time. You obviously are not doing the important things that I am doing. In conclusion, I am better than you."

How I feel: Incredibly Offended. 

Any other statements that people make that really crisp your croutons? Lets hear them!

These Are My Confessions

If you see me making this face, You know what you did. 

Conversations

Here is a conversation Em and I had today. 
Its one of our first conversations where Em actually answers back.

If Im really honest...

Continued from previous. 

My Brown Baby article

I meant to continue this thought earlier but being the domestic goddess that I am, life got in the way...

Our vacuum broke this week, this is the second vacuum in 6 years that has broken due to my lovely Kim Kardashian locks…seriously, it might be time to shave my head.  

So Im Racially Ambigous.

I kinda always felt that my ambiguity would protect me from any negative vibes people might put out there because I was hanging with the opposite-of-my-race crowd.

So I looked back through the years of my many groups of friends from my many travels and I realized something…

When I lived on military bases, I had friends of all races. When I moved back to civilian life and entered high school, my inter-racial companions were almost non-existent.

It wasn’t so much that I chose  to hang out with only white girls…it was more that I was VERY shy and I would be friends with whomever chose me. And white girls chose me.  

So during my entire high school career I had one black friend.

Why do I bring this up…

Well after reading the article posted above it got me thinking about expectations that I have for Emily, and what I imagined for her.

I imagined her racial ambiguity would be a good thing and that she will be free to hang out with whomever she chose without being called an ugly name.

But then I got REALLY honest with myself. Please don’t judge too harshly.

I was surprised with how dark she was when she was born. I thought she would look more like me. (The jury is still out on who she looks like more, I say her father.)

Then, when I imagined her bringing girlfriends home, I imagined white girls! I didn’t realize that this is what I was ASSUMING would happen. Now that I dug a little deeper, and saw what that I was indeed making assumptions, I realized that Em might come home with mostly black girls! This never occurred to me before, but it has now. And I am glad for it.

If she chooses to identify herself more as Black or African-American or even Ghanian, rather than Mixed, or Inter-Racial (I never imagined her saying White), then I am okay with that. I don’t think I will feel left out or that she is abandoning her heritage. I don’t have any “white” heritage to carry down anyway.  I WANT her to know all about her Ghanian heritage and I know her family wants that for her too. In the end, her identity will be her choice. What I want most for my daughter is for her to feel loved and to be loving. To be confident and feel that she can do anything as long as she has Christ with her.

Sooooo, What are you?

This is a good article…My Brown Baby

It is not something I had to “deal” with yet because Em is only 8 months old.

Husband is from West Africa and I’m...well...American…LOL

I say it like that because I grew up all over this country.

Because of my complexion I’ve been asked, “What are you?” since I was in the 5^th grade.

I remember the first time somebody asked me.

We were living in Hawaii and I was on the school playground during recess. One of the girls asked me,

“What’s your nationality?”

I didn’t understand the question.

I didn’t know how to answer. 

I think I said something like, “American” or “I don’t know.”

In Hawaii, most people are very proud of their heritage or nationality.

I remember girls saying, “I’m Filipino.” “I'm Samoan” “I’m Japanese” or “I’m from the Big Island”

Well, between then, 1989, and 2011 I’ve been asked that question about 100 billion times.

Maybe it is me, but I can’t help but think that people are a little disappointed when I tell them “I’m Caucasian”.

I’m sure its just me. 

Maybe I’m disappointed that I’m “just white.”

So I spin it a little and say, “I’m a white girl with brown skin” 

People seem to get a kick out of that.

It is funny. I can almost ALWAYS tell when someone is about to ask me…ALMOST.

They look at me…sort of sideways, but almost always with a smile but usually a little nervous. Like they are afraid of what I might tell them.

“Soooooo, I know it’s a weird question, buuuttttt, what are you?’

“WHAT, HOW DARE YOU ASK ME THAT!!!!!! YOU ARE SO RACIST!”

LOLOLOL

Nah. I just say what I always say…”Oh I get asked that a lot, I’m just a white girl with brown skin”

 I think Em is headed down the same road.

To be continued…

Thoughts? 

Its Not You, Its Us

Today while I was returning a Red Box movie at a kiosk outside the Walgreens I saw a man walking towards me from across the street. He didn’t look menacing but he didn’t look harmless. You ever get that feeling like “Ugh, this person is going to talk to me” Well I got that feeling. I parked right in front of the Kiosk and left Em in the car. When I saw him coming, I locked the car doors. I returned my movie and as I’m opening the car door, the man yells “Excuse me miss, Do you have 75 cents so I can catch the bus”

I said “No, I’m sorry I don’t” And then got in the car.

I have an entire cup holder worth’s of change. But in the .05 seconds it took me to answer, I imagined myself opening the car door and him shoving me in it and driving us away.

So I said “no”.

I lied.

I kinda felt bad. If I had 75 cents in my pocket I’m pretty sure I would have said yes and given it to him, but the fact that I had to unlock the car, and count out change…I decided that was too risky.

If he was she and was asking me for change, I don’t think I would have said “no”. If he had a woman or child with him, I’m pretty positive I would have given it to him. But there is just something about a solitary man, approaching a woman with a child that just seems uncomfortable.

I also experienced this when I was 7 months pregnant. It was my first time flying on a business trip, my first pregnancy and my first time flying pregnant. LOL

And I was flying alone. I was a bundle of nerves. The flight was delayed and everyone was standing around waiting to board. Em was a kicker and I almost always had my hand on my belly pushing her foot back into my stomach. While waiting, I kept catching this mans eye.

I KNEW he was watching me.

It made me uncomfortable.

I prayed…”Dear Lord, please don’t make me sit next to that man”

God is funny.

That is the man I was seated next to on the flight.
As I was sitting down next to him, he mentioned something about me rubbing my belly. I was so taken back that I was seated next to him and so nervous I didn’t really hear him. I muttered something like “yeah”. He didn’t say a word the whole rest of the flight. It was about 3 hours. I must’ve had a look on my face that said what I was thinking. “DO NOT TALK TO ME.”

Again, it makes me VERY VERY uneasy when a solitary man approaches me when I have my baby with me.

I’m sure both these men are fine men…

But I also really don’t think I’m alone in my uneasiness.

So to those solitary men out there just looking to chat or ask for change… Don’t take it too personal.

I’m just watching out for me and my baby.

Its Not You…Its Us.  

Am I the only one  here? What do you think?

We’ve created a monster!

We’ve created a monster!

Is NOW really a good time...REALLY

Part 3
One of the worst feelings in the world is going against your body, My body was trying SO hard to push this baby out and I wanted to push SOoooooo bad but the nurse had me wait to push until the doctor got there. I think I went through 3 contractions of NOT pushing until the doctor gave her go ahead.  

So we started pushing…

With each contraction I pushed 3 or so times and not a lot was happening. I think the doctor and nurse got bored in between contractions and they would walk away or tinker with the machine or write in a folder. I don’t know what they are doing, but I wish they would stay close.

In the meantime my legs are up and I am NOT in the most conversation friendly position, but never the less the nurse asks me a question.

“So what’s your nationality?”

 Really...Now... In between contractions with my WHO-HAH all exposed?

            (Side Note- I do look racially ambiguous, but Im just Caucasian with olive skin and “prominent” facial features…Whatever that means. I am OFTEN asked about my nationality, just not while naked. )

I just close my eyes and refuse to answer. Husband graciously answers for me and explains the same, but he does it with a smile.

More contractions. More pushing. More contractions. More pushing. That’s okay because it is still only 524.

The Doctor comes back and examines then she says…

“So what’s your nationality”

You-have-got-to-BE KIDDING ME!!!  NOW!!! TWICE!!! IM TRYING TO PUSH ANOTHER RACIALLY AMBIGOUS HUMAN BEING OUT OF MY “HEY NANNI NANNI” AND YOU ARE GOING TO ASK ME ABOUT THIS NOW!!!

I close my eyes and respond the same…nothing. Husband and Nurse both fill doctor in on the previous conversation and decide its best to move on. Thank You.

Sometime after, I don’t know, its still only 524...the Doctor says,

“Okay its time to get this baby out”

HERE-WE-GO!
To Be Continued
Part 1
Part 2