Reagan Noelle is Born Part 2

After praying and crying in the car I pull myself together as we pull up to the hospital. And of course my pants are wet because my water just kept on breaking! I felt like a little girl trying to hide what had happened. I am admitted and I have the sweetest nurse ever. I told her how I really didn't want Pitocin and she said that she will tell the doctor and that she understands because "Pitocin makes things 1000 times worse" (her words!). It was nice to feel validated.
I get on the IV and they do what they gotta do. Husband takes a nap in the chair and I start watching TV.
I'm not sure about time, but I watched the following:
the end of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
most of Miss Congeniality
and 2 full DVDS of Friends Season 1.
That with a couple of walking breaks in-between.
I would say it was during the 3rd Friends DVD where the Dr came in and said that she is sitting on her hands  trying to not to give me Pitocin.
So I decide I am going to make this happen. I literally get on my knees and pray. That is, I climb into the bed and get on my elbows and knees and pray.
That is when the contractions really started.
Every 3-5 minutes.
Then the nurse came in and we moved the bed to a high level and I leaned over the bed standing. During each contraction Husband drove his knuckles into my back.
 I was so sure I just couldn't take it anymore and I told Husband:
"I don't know why I think I can do these things" and
"I cant do it anymore" and
"I think I want the drugs".
He just looks at me and I'm sure he says something, but I can't recall.
Really it is when you think you can't take anymore when it is almost over.
Lo and Behold it was time to push.
I had to push.
I HAD TO!!!
But they told me not to because we had to wait for the doctor. That is probably the worst feeling ever. I would say it was 5 or more contractions of wanting to push but being told that I cant.
Finally she came, along with 3-4 nurses, and she climbed onto the foot of the bed. I was actually surprised. I thought for sure that she would tell me that I still had ways to go, but nope, the baby was coming.
Then the Dr. says: "Dad, are you okay, you look a little queasy?"
Husband: "I'm okay, I think it is just something I ate."
If I wasn't preoccupied I would have laughed out loud at this.
I think it was about 3 pushes and our little baby girl was born.
Push 1..."She has a lot of hair"
Push 2...Nurses and Doctors: "You are doing great, we can see her eyebrows"
I think: "Just her eyebrows! All that work for just her eyebrows!" I thought for sure she was half way out by now. I ask them "Cant you just pull her out?" They said no.
Push 3...Nurse says: "She is coming, look, open your eyes, look, look, look!"
I REFUSED to look or touch...its gross!
But then, baby is born and they put her warm gooey body on my body and I have 2 thoughts...
"ITS OVER" In a relieved sort of way. Like finally this pregnancy is over. The labor is over. The pushing is over. The waiting is over.
My other thought is "Wow, she looks just like Emily."
The first thing Husband says is "Now you can sleep on your belly" LOL.
(its been 3 weeks and I still have not done that :)
-------------------------------------------------------
It took us more than 24 hours to name our little girl Reagan Noelle.
Emily loves her...right now. Reagan hasn't offended her yet. :)
I did take a post labor pic and I am still not "one of those women" But the pic isn't THAT bad ;)

Reagan Noelle is Born Part 1

Friday, Sept 21st.
I am SO tired of being pregnant. I am not sleeping. I am hot. My clothes don't fit. I have to pee every 5 minutes. Standing makes me tired. Walking makes me tired. Cleaning is out of the question. Basically I have mentally called it quits. I decide to take matters into my own hands and I text the following...

I have a little fear of irony but I thought I would use irony against itself.  By reading this text you can tell what happened. Ironic huh?! :)
Saturday, Sept 22nd 
So at about 1am I went to bed, which is usual for me. Then at about 3am I woke up because I was itchy all over my body. It was terrible. It was like having restless leg syndrome but in my skin. I was just scratching myself all over in the living room, Googling itchy skin and pregnancy when I felt a trickle trickle.
Now my water did not break when I had Emily, (that one is still a mystery) so I did not know what to expect.
I Googled "Did my water break?" and Google confirmed what I had thought. I went to wake up the hubs and as I am telling him I think my water broke...it started again. And basically did not stop for the next hour. My water breaking was not like the movies.  You know, one splash and its over. It was more like waves on the shore. Just enough to get your feet wet...then it stopped, then it came back. Good times.
I called my Dr. and she told me to come in because I tested positive for Strep-B so that meant I had to be put on an IV of Penicillin through out labor.
This bummed me out because I really wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. That way the doctors wont get antsy and push Pitocin on me if things seem to be taking too long. I don't like Pitocin.
So my BFF comes over to watch the tot and we head to hospital. I start crying in the car because I am convinced that they are going to make me take the meds or have a C-Section. So I pray.

To Be Continued.

 see what I did there... ;)

Why I Go Natural

I don't love pain. I don't hate modern medicine. I'm not holistic nor do I buy only organic or vegan products. I just want to clarify since it seems there is a little bit of stigma or association with women that decide to go through child birth without pain meds. Not that there is anything wrong with being holistic or vegan, its just not me.
What I really want is control.
There are SO many things that happen during childbirth. So many variables.
The doctor can give you a due date, but it is just a best guess. Even if you have gone through childbirth before, the next one can be completely different.
I decided many years before I was pregnant that I would want to deliver without medication because of stories that heard from other women. EVERY story I heard about a mom getting an epidural had some sort of cringe factor and weird side-effect.
"They hit my bone with the needle and I could hear the clicking."
"I kept hearing ringing in my ears."
"I cant feel this part of my leg anymore."
And my favorite "It didn't work."
Now those things don't sound so bad by themselves. They really just sound like inconveniences.
What I was/am truly afraid of is Pitocin.
Its the drug they use to induce labor. It MAKES your body have contractions. And from what I heard across the board, induced labor is VERY VERY painful. Then you really have no option but to get the epidural.
I've also heard but am not sure of the statistics that sometimes when you get the epidural, the contractions become less active and then you are induced with Pitocin.
So Epidural leads to Pitocin which leads to  more pain meds--->more Pitocin...and it just keeps going.
So what if you are induced with Pitocin, you are going through additional pain in an already very painful process and you get the pain medication and it doesn't work???
That is/was my greatest fear.
I knew it was going to hurt. I didn't want to add more pain.
The contractions hurt, but you know its going to end.
If I were injured or sick and in pain, I will take the pain meds.
But I'm not injured. There is an end. And I have some sort of control. I know it will end. I don't have to worry  about side effects or wondering if the meds will work. I can "concentrate" (there is no concentrating in labor) on the current situation and deal and wait and labor through it.
Another upside to going through childbirth naturally is I don't have to talk about stuff with the anesthesiologist before I am discharged. I don't know what he talks to  you about or what he says, but its one less thing.
I also got to be discharged early.
My favorite part is the adrenaline I feel the moment the baby is born. The pain is over and I feel like I have all the energy in the world...for about 3 days. I've read here and there that women that had the drugs don't feel this because they have to wait for the drugs to wear off. I cant really verify that though.
So there you have it.
I'm not "crunchy" or "granola". I just wanted control. And I have been blessed enough to have my child-birthing experiences the way I wanted them.

I Want to be One of "Those" Women

You've seen them. Perhaps you are "them". Those women that post their pics on Facebook after they just delivered their baby and they look INCREDIBLE! I almost never look at their new baby because I am in shock with how un-sweaty, un-blotchy and un-swollen they look. Their hair looks perfectly quaffed and their eyeliner and mascara are in place and not all smudgey looking. How does this happen? If it is you, how do you do it?
I'm really speaking out of jealousy here. My "post-labor" pic is not flattering at all!!! I took one because it is expected and I thought no one would see it. Well Husband REALLY wanted to show his co-workers the pic and I reluctantly said okay. Three weeks later I went to his work picnic and everyone told me how great I looked. I looked just okay, but their only reference of me was that post-labor pic, so I probably looked like a super model in comparison.
This time around I am going to try to look like one of "those" women.
"Why?" you may ask. "That seems pretty vain." And you are right it is TOTALLY vain, but guess what, I don't care! There is so much out of your control when  you go into labor and deliver your baby. You can have a Birth Plan but that is just your ideal of how you would like things to go. You can go early, late, in public, or home alone. It can go quickly or take forever, you may need drugs, the drugs may not work, you may need surgery...SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN! So let me at least try to have control of ONE thing and that is my "post labor" pic.
My Birth Plan is go natural again. My Post Labor Pic Plan is to go all faux. I plan to have my hair in a tight bun or braid of some sort. I will have eyeliner, mascara and any other cosmetic I can manage to get onto my face while having contractions. I also want to take a note from Christina Applegate and search for that perfect headband. And if I still look like a hot mess in that post-labor pic, I will use Photoshop.
Here is our pic after Em was born...

YOWZAH!!! After Em was born, this was the pic Husbands co-workers saw...OF COURSE I looked good after that. Anything would!

Ill just use this pic from our wedding, I look nice and young, I think people will buy it.

Ill just mash them up, like so...

Not so believable, how about this...

Well I still have some time. Vain or not, just give me this. 

This Says It All

No Words Needed

She is Here!

Part 4
“Its Time to get this baby out” says the doctor.

The Nurse handed her a mask and she declined.

(Did I mention the tray of baby extracting tools? DO NOT look at the tray of instruments. I didn’t. All I know is that they were metal and shiny and sharp looking!)

Contraction comes and I push, I take a breath and push, I take another breath and push.

“AGAIN” says the doctor.

I breathe out through my mouth with my teeth clenched and a full spray of spittle comes shooting out of my mouth all over my unmasked doctor’s face.

The nurse asks “Are you sure you don’t want a mask?”

“Sorry” I mutter.

“Okay PUSH”

Husband is cheering me on, which is surprisingly helpful. Any encouragement to keep going really really helps.

“PUSH” says nurse

“Don’t PUSH” says Doctor

“DON’T PUSH?!” I say

“Okay PUSH” says Doctor

I push, and a female says “OH MY GOD” I don’t think I said it, but why would the nurse?  I definitely don’t think it was the doctor. But it didn’t sound like it came from me! Someone says “OH My GOD” and they give me my baby and put her on my chest.

I still remember her little face and her little eyes looking at me.

She is here. The labor is over and she is here.

Then I look her over and HOLY MOLY that is one HAIRY SHOULDER!!!

She is here.

My life begins.

“What’s her name” asks the nurse.

Husband and I look at each other…”we don’t know yet”

Well its only 524. We still got time to name her.

To Be Continued. 
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Is NOW really a good time...REALLY

Part 3
One of the worst feelings in the world is going against your body, My body was trying SO hard to push this baby out and I wanted to push SOoooooo bad but the nurse had me wait to push until the doctor got there. I think I went through 3 contractions of NOT pushing until the doctor gave her go ahead.  

So we started pushing…

With each contraction I pushed 3 or so times and not a lot was happening. I think the doctor and nurse got bored in between contractions and they would walk away or tinker with the machine or write in a folder. I don’t know what they are doing, but I wish they would stay close.

In the meantime my legs are up and I am NOT in the most conversation friendly position, but never the less the nurse asks me a question.

“So what’s your nationality?”

 Really...Now... In between contractions with my WHO-HAH all exposed?

            (Side Note- I do look racially ambiguous, but Im just Caucasian with olive skin and “prominent” facial features…Whatever that means. I am OFTEN asked about my nationality, just not while naked. )

I just close my eyes and refuse to answer. Husband graciously answers for me and explains the same, but he does it with a smile.

More contractions. More pushing. More contractions. More pushing. That’s okay because it is still only 524.

The Doctor comes back and examines then she says…

“So what’s your nationality”

You-have-got-to-BE KIDDING ME!!!  NOW!!! TWICE!!! IM TRYING TO PUSH ANOTHER RACIALLY AMBIGOUS HUMAN BEING OUT OF MY “HEY NANNI NANNI” AND YOU ARE GOING TO ASK ME ABOUT THIS NOW!!!

I close my eyes and respond the same…nothing. Husband and Nurse both fill doctor in on the previous conversation and decide its best to move on. Thank You.

Sometime after, I don’t know, its still only 524...the Doctor says,

“Okay its time to get this baby out”

HERE-WE-GO!
To Be Continued
Part 1
Part 2

Vuvuzelas

Part 2
So I really didn’t  have any concept of time. The digital clock under the TV was stuck at 5:24. So Im pretty sure it is 5:24 all the time. In reality its probably 9am on Friday June 18^th. I know this because the World Cup games have started and there is a droning in the speakers of my bed. A lot of people complained about the Vuvuzelas during the game, but I found them kind of soothing. Kinda like white noise while I labored. People teased my husband that he somehow got me into labor so that he would be able to watch the games. So Im laboring and laboring and the first game ends. Then a PGA game comes on. Coincidently this seems to be the most painful part of labor. Husband is massaging my feet REALLY HARD! A tip he got from a girlfriend. It was a good distraction from the contractions. Now they keep asking me when my water broke and I keep telling them that it hasn’t. So they go in to break it with the needle with a hook!!!! AH! And what do you know…my water was already broken. I don’t know when it happened, but apparently it did. Now the Doc REALLY wants to put me on Pitocin. I say “NO”, She says “2 more hours”. My nurse did not have warm bedside manner but she was efficient. I try laboring in different positions. They are getting strong now. Finally I say to my husband in tears “I cant do this anymore, Please let me get the drugs” The nurse comes in and what do you know…Its time to PUSH! I did it! I made it through labor without the drugs!!!! So just a few pushes and the baby should be here soon. HOORAY…then the 2^nd World Cup game starts and Vuvuzelas continue. Ahhhhh. So soothing.

To Be Continued
Part 1

The Lakers beat the Celtics

Part 1

While I was in labor we watched the Lakers beat the Celtics in the playoffs.  So that was kinda fun. Husband is a Kobe fan so he was happy. Then we “watched” the news. Now Its 430 in the morning and I labored throughout the night keeping track of my contractions on a website with a tool just for that. I let my husband “sleep” because I figured there is no point in both of us being exhausted.  He sat on the couch with his eyes closed…that was how he slept.  I decided that I had enough of laboring at home now…the contractions were 6 minutes apart and getting quite painful, with each one I would just bury my head in the back of the couch until it passed. The BRADLEY METHOD was NOT working. I could NOT relax. I didn’t care though. I just closed my eyes and waited for it to end. Husband called the doctor but left the wrong phone number!!! So I had to call them back and leave the right phone number to reach us at. We get to the hospital and we go in the wrong door and this little security guard sees us on camera and meets us and leads us the right way. I found out later that he was SOOOO scared that I was going to give birth right then and there…I WISH!!! We check in and I get on the table and they examine me. How dilated am I? 2 FREAKING CENTIMETERS!!! UGH! I was so sure I was at 5 or 7. I had no idea the pain I was experiencing was not as bad as what was coming. I did all my research on Epidurals and Pitocin and knew it wasn’t for me, but the nurse offered my Stadol…it goes right in your IV…It was to “take the edge off” Well it knocked me out for a while and I stopped laboring! THIS IS WHY I DIDN’T WANT DRUGS! But I wasn’t prepared to say no to Stadol. I wake up out of my groggy state, like I had too much to drink, and the nurse and doctor are standing over me and their heads are swimming around me. The doctor says its time for pitocin and an epidural and I feebly say “No”

“Why” they ask

I really was not in the state of mind to go into this. I just mumble something about being afraid of it. And the Doc says that they will give me 2 hours.

To Be Continued