Giving Thanks

One of my favs...

Beth Moore Conference

I really enjoyed and have been enlightened and changed by the ministry of Beth Moore. I have done a few of her Bible studies and have learned so much about myself and God and overall about Gods love and goodness.
In September I went to the Living Proof Ministries simulcast event.
I thought I would share some of what I took with me from the conference.
The text she used was from 2 Kings 4, which tells the story of a poor woman and a rich woman and the miracles God did for both.
Here are some of my favorite points from the message:
1)Personal desperation can jar us out of 2nd hand stories. 
   Basically, when we are so desperate for something in our own lives, we stop living through others stories        and our living our own.
2)God didn't call us to fine, he called us to faith. 
    This is one of my favorite points. We were asked a question...Do I want a miraculously filled life or a humanly explainable life. I want a miraculously filled life! As scary as it seems to have to need a miracle...because that means there is a need...but I have let go a lot of my fears and have learned that God is indeed good. I have learned these things and have grown to love and trust the Lord so much in 2012.
Beth Moore also so said that NEED is an invitation to supernatural provision from the Lord. I have been praying for a specific need for over a year now, especially during this past year. Waiting and trusting is hard, but the Lord has spoken to me so much during this time that I am happy for this time that the Lord has used to bring me closer to him. I don't think a year ago I imagined I would feel the way I do now.
She went on to say that if "You got everything you need, you need a bigger life" The rich woman in 2 Kings 4  felt as though she didnt need anything else and Elisha said she will have a child. This seemed to frighten her. She was afraid of having a risky life and being disappointed. So she was settling for a "fine" life.
3)Faith faces the fact the fact that there is no formula. 
I KNOW that there is no formula in my mind and heart. But I often, or at least used to keep trying to figure out what God is doing, why he is doing it and what can I do or say to get God to finally say okay to what it is  that I want. And then if I got what I wanted how can I apply what I had done and learned and thought to the next situation. I am FINALLY stopping this type of thinking. It is actually quite freeing! I don't have to figure it out for the next time. I just need to trust and obey NOW. God is in control. His ways are good. That is enough for me...most of the time ;)

There were quite a few other points during the simulcast, but these points spoke to me the most.
I do feel like I have a specific calling in my life right now. I am praying for Gods provisions to make it happen and am trying hard to trust Him that I am called and He will provide. Trusting in this is a very intentional thing I have to do daily. And that is what God wants. An intentional and personal "on purpose" relationship with us. He loves us!

Beth Moore Simulcast

Lots and lots and lots of women eating lunch during the break. There were women EVERYWHERE!

One of my favorite Scriptures. src

Where I have been...just waiting

Its been a little bit since I last posted, I haven't gone anywhere, I'm here, but just waiting.
Waiting for baby numero dos.

Got a week or so!

Waiting to finish a few last DIY projects I have in my head or have barely started.

DIY Onsies

Waiting for something to post a little more meaty than my latest DIY project.

My Bestie remarried her husband. More pics coming soon.

Waiting for God.

We went to a Beth Moore event that was simulcast. 

Waiting Waiting Waiting Waiting.

God is Good... Part 4

Psalm 119:68

You are good and what you do is good; teach me your decrees.

Continued from Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3. 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God is loving and merciful and I am believing in his Godly goodness. Slowly.

I know he hears me because of these little things…

I took a break from the Beth Moore homework because it was a lot to think about. I was being rebuked. But I think in the best way. Privately between me and God.

Sunday morning Em woke up 3 hours earlier than usual so I resumed my homework. And in one paragraph Beth Moore wrote out the hymn, “Trust and obey for there is no other way to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey”. I underlined it and made a mental note that I read that this morning, because I knew I was going to hear that again.

And I did. In church J.

I was working in the nursery that morning, but they have a TV in the room so you can watch the sermon and that same hymn was being sung by our Pastor as the closing benediction. I was not surprised and  was comforted.  God was speaking to me. He hears me and he sees me trying. I know he is pleased with that.

A couple days later I was feeling very slow and tired, but not sleepy tired, just tired all over. So I put Em down for a nap a little early and was so thankful she fell asleep and I decided to lay down too. I didn’t think I would sleep but I did. When I woke up I went to resume my homework. The homework called for us to look up a particular verse. Psalm 62:1. As I flipping to that verse, I said aloud, to myself…

“I am so tired” and realizing that I just took a nap I felt the need to correct myself and I said aloud while still flipping through the pages, “My soul is tired” and then I found the verse and it said “My soul finds rest in God alone;”

I got a kick out of that.

I do believe if you talk to God and read his Word and study, he will talk to you back. You will hear him.

I am still praying and seeking and wondering if I am doing what God wants me to do.

Am I praying for the right things? I still worry at times if things are ever going to change.

 I don’t really worry about this stuff too much during the day. It is almost always when I am awake at night or wee early morning hours. I think that is when the devil knows my defenses are down. But I pray, I pray for others and I journal and I read the Bible and do my Bible Study homework.

And eventually the answer comes to me and I can sleep again and find rest for a little bit longer. 

I think I have more to write...I think :)

God is Good...Part 3

Continued from Part 1 and Part 2...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 119:68

You are good and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. 

The Pastor of the same sermon then explained how Job wasn’t sure he can trust God.

And God spoke to him twice. 

This is when I got a spiritual kick in the pants…

The Pastor went on to talk about how Job repented (Job 42) because 

“no purpose of yours can be thwarted for they are driven by your wisdom.”

The same week, I had some Breaking Free homework to do and the main message was that God has a Right to Rule and that God’s Rule is Right.  

Beth Moore referenced Isaiah 45 which spoke to me  A LOT and I felt the nudge from God. 

"Woe to those who quarrel with their Maker," Isa 45:9

Yikes!

"I declare what is right" Isa 45:19

"My purpose will stand and I will do all that I please." Isa 46:10

Woah! I had a lot to think about.

That Friday we woke up to hear about the Colorado movie theater shooting. 

Wow. That’s a real trial.

That Saturday the news showed a particular victim that survived and he talked about the goodness of God and how he still trusts him. 

He still had bullets in arm. 

A blog article has been circulating about another victim and she wrote about her experience in the shooting and still spoke about the goodness of God. 

Amazing. 

To be continued...

A Little Inspiration...at least for me.

source

Hey Yall! 

Just a little inspiration...at least it helped me.

Also I hope to add "Part 3" of God is Good soon...Still learning and praying and hoping ;)

God is Good... Part 2

This is a continuation of another post God is Good? Part 1. 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Psalm 119:68

You are good and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. 

...During this same week I received a video sermon from my friends church.

The sermon was about prayer.

The sermon can be found here . 

 It is only 37 minutes long. I listened while I did the dishes and made some dinner.

 I HIGHLY recommend it! 

The Pastor/Guest speaker brings up the Bible verse 1 John 5:13-14, and how there seems to be catch in praying to God.

13 I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. 14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

IF it is according to God’s will THEN it will happen...

So is the stuff I am praying for not God’s will?

He goes on to say that if we take pleasure in pleasing the Father he will implant His desires in my heart.

Are the things that I currently desire NOT God’s desire too?

Then there are the purposes of God…Which are scary…

What if God wants the EXACT opposite I want, because it will glorify him?

And how do I know what God’s will is for my life?

Our purpose can be found in Romans 12:1-2

12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The Pastor said that our purpose is to offer our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy pleasing to God, this is our true and proper worship and purpose THEN we will be able to test and approve what God’s will is.

...His will that is good, pleasing and perfect.

There is that word again…GOOD.

So, Gods good may be different from my good. It is good to him if it glorifies Him. It is good if it is the purposes of God.

So What are Gods purposes that are good?

The Pastor went on to explain…

He wants me to know who he is. (This is a main teaching in the Beth Moore Breaking Free Bible study).

And when we have trials (and we will) it has a purpose and if I know God then it will be well with my soul…despite how my emotions feel. My soul will be well.

So can I trust God that his goodness is good for me?

To be continued...

God is Good? Part 1

This particular post might seem a little long and it is only "Part 1". My additional posts regarding this topic will be and are smaller. I feel like I am in the middle of learning something that can change my life and I really want to share it...Thanks :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 119:68

You are good and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. 

Earlier  in the year I posted about my greatest fears and my fear of irony. My Biggest Fears and How I Fight Them. 

Later I posted how I am learning that God hears our prayers and they are validated and all the good things promised to us aren’t just for heaven.

But what is “Good”?

It seemed to me lately that my definition of good is way different than God’s definition of good.

My definition of good is basically anything not bad. It’s good to have a job, house, food, resources, fun, friends, family, health, and all those other things that make you feel, well…Good!

I was feeling pretty positive about life and our circumstances until one particular session of the Beth Moore Breaking Free study.

It was during the video session where she explained we cannot avoid fiery trials.

I already knew this to be true, but I did not want to be reminded of it!

Here are some verses she used:

Job 4:4-5

4 Your words have supported those who stumbled;

you have strengthened faltering knees.

5 But now trouble comes to you, and you are discouraged;

it strikes you, and you are dismayed.

Acts 14:22

22 strengthening the disciples and encouraging them to remain true to the faith. “We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God,” they said.

1 Peter 4:12

12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.

Ugh!

And WHY do we have to suffer through trials?

1 Peter 1:6-9

6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

So that God is glorified.

Oh…

I don’t feel better knowing the reason why.

But I accepted it and tucked it away and continued on with my duties as a mom and wife.

Now lately, I have not been able to sleep through the night. For one reason or another I wake up, whether it is for my nightly bathroom trip, or Em cries and wakes up, or it is just so dang hot I cannot sleep.  Whatever the reason why it is that I woke up, the problem is I can’t get back to sleep.  My brain has turned on and now it won’t turn off.

I start thinking about our own personal un-answered prayers.

And those old fears resurface. The ones that I thought I had conquered.

So we all suffer fiery trials… It is inevitable. The worse is going to happen to me.

I try to pray to ease my mind and after an hour or two I finally fall asleep. But it just happens again the next night and the next.

One particular night, I was very hot (we don’t have central air) and I was trying to get comfortable and cool and I was thinking about the Breaking Free video I watched earlier in the week. 

I was praying and I told God, but in an angry fashion,

“Fine…take everything I love away from me, if that is “your will” and its for your purposes and glory than I will just accept it and be fine with it all.”

Not that I was challenging God, but more like angrily surrendering my fears.

But then another thought came to me. It might not be God’s will for me to experience my greatest fears. What if it is his will to just keep my current prayers unanswered?

Well that just ticked me off. What if God doesn’t want things to change for us? 

What if it is God’s will for us to just remain where we are, where things are not changing? 

This made me really angry! 

I was mad at God that I was so hot and that I couldn’t sleep and that he wasn’t answering my long-standing prayers and that he lets faithful people go through terrible things and times of long waiting but we are supposed to be okay with that because it is all for his glory.

I was mad at God and I told him. Then I finally fell asleep. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I will Post Part 2 soon. I don't stay angry very long :)

My Biggest Fears and How I Fight Them

I have two big fears that I have to fight often.
Some days I have to fight harder than others.
My first biggest fear is death. Death of my family and me dealing with the loss or me dying and Emily and Frankie dealing with my loss. (I know I wont be there, but I know how I would feel and I dont want them to feel that way either)
My second fear is irony. Irony where the outcome is death.
I know that I know that I know that I am going to heaven. So is my family. But the unbearable feeling of loss is what I really fear.
My deal with irony is that I cant shake this feeling that if things in my life are going TOO well,  something bad is looming around the corner waiting to happen.
Ultimately I don't have control over the future, but Irony gives me a false sense of control. Sort of.
You have heard those stories...someone says "I have never had to suffer such a great loss" Then 2 weeks later they do suffer great losses.
You have heard people say "Oh no, you just jinxed us!" I know that the Bible does not support "Jinxes" but I still cant shake the fear despite what I know in my brain.
Or sometimes I keep  coming across devotionals about women dealing with loss and instead of being encouraged by their faith and the Scriptures supporting Gods love for them, I am struck with fear and think "Oh no, I am being prepped for something terrible."
Irony makes me fear action. What if the good thing I am about to say or do opens the door for irony to allow the exact opposite to happen. Even me writing this post seems like I am opening the door for something bad to happen. I wrote about my fears and they came true.
Its a TERRIBLE way to think and live.
But I have the Lord to help me and deliver me from this fear.

The following Scriptures are ones that I have to read and pray and say aloud to fight the fear:

Phil 4:8 Finally Brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. 


Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"


James 4:7 Submit yourselves then to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 


Psalms 34:4 I sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.

I believe there is Power is the Words that God gave us in the Bible. And going through these Bible verses really truly helps me.

To be honest, I dont know how people without faith function. 

Do you have a fear that you face daily?
Do you have Bible verses that you go to fight those fears?
If so, I wanna hear them :)

What I am praying for Now

My "God Does Answer Prayer" Page  post was getting really long and wordy, so I decided to move my current prayer list to its own page.
These are my long term prayers. I pray a lot throughout the day. Thanking God, Talking to God, Asking God.
The things listed below are what I have been working on and praying about long-term.
I like writing it out. I feel better getting it out there and I like being able to actually SEE what God has done. While in the midst of things happening, I sometimes forget what God has already done. Here I have a way of reminding myself and maybe possibly encouraging someone else!

----------------------------------------------------
These are some things I am praying for now.

I Want an income- I am home with my baby, which is AMAZING…but I want an income.

I’m praying God opens and closes doors and gives me wisdom. UPDATE!!! 9/30 I have an income, Ive been working as our church's secretary since April and I can work from home and take Em with me. Its not much, but it got me through until I heard from Parktec. Parktec is a company a colleague of mine started and he asked me to join his company as a contractor. I also get to design web-sites. Im learning and things are going well. They are moving slowly but are definitely moving!

We NEED a house- I cannot consolidate any further in this tiny apartment, but I don’t want a temporary house, I want a house that we are going to live in for a long time. I’m not trying to make a buck. I’m trying to live in a nice, warm, safe, more spacious place. UPDATE!!! 9/30 Well I've been praying about being content and I dont hate the apartment anymore...HOWEVER, our lease is up on  November 30th. Rent is going up 60 dollars a month. We can pay it, but I dont want to. Our apartment is not worth what they are asking, plus if we want to extend our family we cannot stay here. Rent has gone up everywhere though. I dont know where we can go for less or the same amount that we are paying now. Im praying for God to open a big door and provide something neato! 

I want to be debt free- We have a TON of school loans. We have paid off a lot of debt so far. This all centers around prayer one. UPDATE!! 9/30, Not a real update. No change here really except Ive been really praying for God to help us pay off our school debt sooner so we can get a house that is just right for us. 
So as of today 9/30/11 Im praying for God to do some big things. Ill keep you posted. 

God Does Answer Prayer

God does Answer Prayer 

I wanted to make a list of how God has answered prayer and worked in my life...its nice to look back to especially when things look rough and I forget his goodness and love.

This page post is a work in progress, as is my life!
(this started off as a page, I moved it to a re-occurring Post. It will probably morph into something else later)

Here is one of my new favorite Bible Verses. 

Psalms 66:16-20

Come and listen, all you who fear God; 

       let me tell you what he has done for me.

I cried out to him with my mouth; 

       his praise was on my tongue.

If I had cherished sin in my heart, 

       the Lord would not have listened;

 but God has surely listened 

       and heard my voice in prayer.

 Praise be to God, 

       who has not rejected my prayer 

       or withheld his love from me!

My husband-He is good Godly man, and challenges me and helps me grow. 

My baby- She is a answer to prayer. We wanted children, but I didnt want to do anything evasive, it took a while...3 years, but she is here and she is wonderful.
I didnt have the epidural- Now this might sound weird, but I decided years before I was pregnant that I didnt want an epidural and confirmed that during pregnancy. Labor was hard, but the Lord answered my crazy prayer and I delivered naturally just like I had prayed and hoped.
I got an IT job immediately-Since taking this IT journey the Lord has provided me with great jobs even through 3 lay offs!!!
I was hired by the pharmacy and they paid me more- I wanted to work permanently where I was contracted and they hem and hawed at hiring me, I was hired by 2 other companies and was pregnant, and FINALLY just before Thanksgiving they hired me and paid me more than what I was going to get at the other companies. 

A Car- When we were first married, we had one reliable car and one not so reliable car. Then we were down to one car. When we went to buy another car, we could not get a loan for the life of us and didn’t understand why. Finally, a woman at a small bank sat with us and I told her that I didn’t understand what was happening and she said "I’m not supposed to do this but..." and she showed us our credit report and it was FULL of wrong information. Thank the Lord for that woman. My husband had a job interview in a week and we had no car for him, so I emailed the church to ask people to pray and in minutes someone offered to sell us their car for $500. We got the money from my in-laws and we had a car. I spent the next few months cleaning up our reports. 

**Side Note-Looking back, I don’t want to forget what its like to be in need of money or things. That way I wont take all we have now for granted. 

Where I have been...

Praise the Lord, I've been working from home. A looooooooong awaited prayer has been answered, since way back in 2007.  I've been working as our church secretary (never imagined that) and I've been working as a remote Help Desk Contractor for a colleague of mine that has started his own business. And I'm getting more work weekly!
On my way to this point, there were a lot of times where I was angry with God and confused. Was I making my own path and just thinking that God was with me, or was this really Gods will?
It seemed as though God was with me every step when I decided to make a way for myself to be a work-from-home mom. All the way up until I had to choose between working full time with Em in daycare, or quit my job without know the future.  And I quit. I was so mad that God did not have something ready for me. I ALWAYS had something ready.
It made me question every move I made. It made me question Gods goodness.
Just recently I was thinking about how Emily gets so sad with real tears and frustration when I take something away from her. And I imagined how this will probably continue  when she gets older and she might say the words  "You don't love me!".
She hasn't  said those words yet, but I know they are coming. And it REALLY hurt my feelings already!
How can she think I don't love her. I have done so much and am doing so much just for her! She has no idea!
Then I thought..."Ooooooooh" and realized I have thought that exact same thing towards God.
 "Does he REALLY care that I made this plan and thought it was His this whole time?"
"Why do I bother even wanting or asking for anything?" "
"He saved us from our sins and eternal separation, but that is it, he is done."
This past week I've been getting a lot of reminders about how God loves us and wants to be with us. And having Emily reminds me of that often. I want to be with her and God wants to be with me.
Looking back, I really feel like I was toddler throwing a temper tantrum. I know that I will have another fit of "God doesn't love me" in the future. But MAYBE Ill remember all this and Ill be able to put myself back in check!
Maybe...;)

Heaven is for Real

So I finished reading Heaven is for Real last week. In case you haven’t heard about this book. It is a “true story” about a family and how their little four year old son made a trip to heaven while he was on the operating table.

When I read a book like this I have to decide “Am I going to buy it” or “take it with a grain of salt”. I decided that I am going to believe that this little boy did go to heaven, sit on Jesus’ lap and that he did see the things that says he saw and met the people he says he met.
The alternative is to think that this family is exploiting their boy or lying to make money. Call me naïve, but I don’t believe that is the case here.

With the theology of heaven put aside, this story is a reminder of how much God really loves us. He hears our prayers and he wants to be with us.
One of my favorite quotes from the book is from the little boy telling his dad about Jesus…”And he really, really loves us, Dad. You can’t belieeeeeve how much he loves us!”

I am slowly learning that God is good and God loves me as much as he says he does. I’ve been able to understand a pinch more since Emily has been born. I think about how much I love her, how I LOVE to be with her and I love it when she wants to be with me. How I miss her when she goes to bed (although sometimes I cant wait for this time ) and how I want to provide for her and help her to be her best self.
I now have a reference for how God loves me the same way. I still don’t get it…I still don’t feel it sometimes…but I have something very tangible now that I can reference in my relationship with God.

I don’t want to get into too much about what this little boy said goes on in heaven, mostly because it is dangerous to stray away from the Bible with anything in regards to God matters. Not that what this boy saw is NOT in the Bible, it also isn’t written out in the Bible the same way he described it.
All in all…it’s a good read, it’s a sweet story and it’s a good reminder of Gods love and it made me a little more excited for heaven too.

Guilt Cycle

Do you ever get sucked into guilt cycle?

A couple of weeks ago I was feeling pretty bummed out.

Its really easy for me to get my hopes up and in return its really easy to for me to crash and get very disappointed.

I’ve been praying that God open and close doors. He closed 2 doors that I was getting really excited about.

I had to mourn those closed doors. But in addition to mourning the loss of those opportunities, I got stuck in this whirlpool of negativity.

I was sad that I wasn’t getting what I had been hoping.

I was getting even sadder as it seemed that ANYTHING I’ve been hoping for would NEVER happen.

Then I was feeling guilty for being sad and disappointed.

Thoughts kept creeping into my head that I am being ungrateful.

“This is what I asked for.”

“How can I be so selfish, when there are earthquakes, wars and other horrible conditions all over the world? “

When I start to complain in my mind, the words “You aren’t a woman living in The Congo”.  I know, kinda random, but whats happening in The Congo really upsets me.

Then I get stuck in feeling bad for myself, then feeling bad for feeling bad, and then feeling bad some more.

And it just cycles.

How do I stop it?

Well, I checked my motives.

Why do I want what I want?

Some of it was because I don’t want people to think they are better than me.

They have a bigger house.

They decorate better than me.

They have better clothes.

They have more freedom.

They will judge me and my choices.

I realized that I am comparing myself to others and assuming they are doing the same with me.

That is VERY exhausting.

But I realized I was doing it.

After a few days or so I also realized that everybody is going through SOMETHING. Nobody has it all together in every area of their lives.

I think that God is working on something in every single persons life. Every single person is struggling with something.

I also think that my life is NEVER going to be perfect.

Ever.

There is always going to be SOMETHING that I'm working through.

It kinda made me feel better.

I am working through something.

With God.

And that is the way it is supposed to be.

As long as its not the same something for years and years and years and the lesson is never learned. That truly would be exhausting.

So everyday I have to say to myself,

“This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Along with my many, many, many other prayers. J

Lent me your ears...

So today is the start of Lent.

I never practiced Lent before. I thought it was something Catholics did and to me didn’t seem to be relevant in my life. 

This year I came to some conclusions.

One of them is that I don’t want to waste the time God has given me.

This year I have been given a gift from God…Time home with my baby.

I was 99% sure that I would have a job where I would work from home and successfully juggle work, motherhood, wifedom and whatever else there is out there.

Wellllll, I still don’t have a job…my plan has NOT gone the way I planned it out it AT ALL!

So I'm home with my baby and I love it…and I don’t want to waste it.

I want to hear from God anything he might be saying to me.

I want to be ready for anything God has planned for me.

So I had to remove a big distraction…TV.

This year, during the Lent season, I am not turning the TV on until 630pm…(that’s when World News with Brian Williams comes on :)

I am left with less noise in the house.

Which leaves me with some thoughts…I need to curb my thoughts and be sure that I am thinking of things that God wants me to think about too.

I'm hoping and praying that during this time, I grow and am at least a little bit of better person in the end…somehow.

Are you abstaining from anything this year?

If you liked this...clicky click click below...


Want to make a tribute book...email me...

Present Day

OOooookay, We are almost to caught up to the present or “Where I Am Now” for real.

After I was turned down for a more flexible schedule I decided I was going to quit. I spoke with my husband and I told him that I wanted to give my 2 weeks notice. After some discussion we decided that I will work there for the remainder of the year. That way I have a little more time to find that perfect job where I can work from home and take care of my little BFF.

So I did it. I gave my job a month’s notice which they thought was very generous of me. They said they would miss me and were sorry to see me go.

Since it was the holidays there was less work to do and I gave up a few of my tasks. So towards the end I became sort of a lame duck. My day basically was broken up between pumping and job searching.

My LO was in daycare for about 4 weeks total. They loved her of course. She’s a pretty easy baby. Except for her poops! She went through 3 outfits a day!

I’m home now and I LOVE IT. But now our income is less than half and we were living comfortably. We live in a tiny apartment and still have some juicy school bills.

I’m still looking for that Work From Home position. I get down sometimes. I wonder why God hasn’t worked things out yet. But I’m praying that I trust him more and for provision and am trying to remember what the Bible says about these things.

It was easier to trust that God would provide when things seemed so far away. Now I’m in it and although we are okay for right now…I don’t know what the future looks like.

So that is Where I Am Now.