Mrs. and Miss Muffet

As I was reading some blogs this morning, I prayed a little prayer for inspiration to write something. Not because I think that people are watching and waiting for my next post, but because I do enjoy it and would like to keep it up.

As I was in mid thought…(read the following in your Donald Trump voice)

The biggest, most ginormous-hideous spider (end DT voice) was running at full speed towards me and Emily.

TIFF FUN FACT: I hate Spiders! I sweat when I see them…Tears well up in my eyes and I freeze. Husbands are good for killing spiders.

REWIND to about a month ago: Husband was away for work and I was alone with the baby.

Its about 12am and I come out of my bedroom tooooooo (in your best DT voice) The most tremendous, hairiest most spectacularly huge spider you have ever seen! (end DT)

And I'm alone!

This spider sees me… I see it…and we just stop and stare at each other.

I'm so scared to kill it, but I can’t let it go. It will come back when I least expect it and crawl on me in my sleep and bite and kill me. I have to act. So I get my 3 largest Tupperware bowls, a manila folder, a cutting board and my purple rubber dish gloves. LETS DO THIS!

I get up on a chair with my Tupperware and I try to drop the Tupperware bowls over the spider…I trap him with the third bowl. UH-OH! Now he is angry!

I slip the manila folder under the bowl…then the cutting board under the manila folder. 

I prop open my door and carry the spider, (while screaming a closed mouth scream which wakes the baby), out under the bowl, on the folder, on the cutting board. I lay my trap on the sidewalk.

I Kick the bowl and I RUN!

The spider runs to freedom.

I throw out the Tupperware and folder and steam clean my cutting board.

I am so proud of myself. I removed the spider, saved the family and I didn’t have to kill anything.

I think to myself that the spider will be so grateful that he is alive, he will tell this tale to his disgusting friends and they, out of respect, will never enter my apartment again.

FAST FORWARD TO THE PRESENT:

The biggest, most ginormous-hideous spider (end DT voice) was running at full speed towards me and Emily.

There is no time for compassion. He is on a mission and he is ugly. I grab Husbands shoe and smash him dead. Its so CRUNCHY!!!! I take a peek to make sure he is dead and his fanger-fangs are sticking out! FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT! What an evil little creature. After all I went through to not kill his friend. Well, they have poked the Mamma Bear! I will no longer hesitate to kill and destroy these hairy monsters. 

So there you have it…my adventure for the day.

Here is a pic in case you were curious. 

Husbands feet are a little square.