Put it in the trash

So with a little over 2 weeks before I have to go back to work I decided that I have to let go of MY PLANS. Its not easy. It just seemed so perfect.
I get laid off, I get severance, I get unemployment and use that time to find the perfect job that I KNOW is out there so that I can be home with my baby. The thing Ive worked towards since that first miscarriage.
Well Scripture says that "A mans life is not his own, it is not for man to direct to steps" and "dont worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough trouble of its own" and "My ways are higher than your ways, My plans are higher than your plans"
So this perfect plan that God could have used isnt happening. I need to let it go. But it keeps popping back that maybe TODAY they will call me to let me go...MAYBE they are waiting till Friday...etc etc etc. That is not letting it go. So I had to visualize me on my hands and knees on a shaking trash can trying super hard to hold the lid down, because SEVERANCE is trying to get out.
I have to tell myself that Im NOT getting severance, because that was my plan, and if I get it, I wont learn the lesson that God has for me.
I dont know what the lesson, but I hope I learn it because this SUCKS!

Was I wrong in everything Ive done?