Martha Stewart: Prison Edition

Before I get started, the title of this post came from Husband. He was basically making fun of my domestic skills. He got a chuckle from me. (I'm still funnier).

Well, our washing machine has been chomping on our bed sheets and leaving a little hole that becomes ginormous and out of control. Being the domestic goddess that I am, I decided to fix these holes myself with my handy-dandy sewing machine.
"Why not just buy new sheets?" You may ask. WELL Richie Rich, bed sheets are NOT cheap!
This was one of the first surprises of married life that I learned. And buying new bed sheets falls at about #42 on our "Things We Want to Buy List". Slightly below a  fridge that makes crushed ice and a little above a food dehydrator.

So I Googled "how to fix a hole in a sheet" and a bunch of sites for fixing sheet-rock came up, but eventually came to this site.

Basically, the tutorial said that nobody is going to see these sheets right? So use whatever color fabric you want to fix the hole, and that I did.

I used a Teal Cotton shirt that I used to learn how to sew on to patch the hole. 

It is not pretty, but it worked and nobody's toes or arms or heads are getting caught in the sheet, so I say "Job well done." to myself. And don't worry, I wont use this sheet for our guests. Our guests don't get a bed, they get the couch and if they are lucky...a blanket.

UPDATE: A hole next to patch has formed from the tot pulling on the sheets trying to climb into our bed, I should have made the teal patch bigger, or just thrown the whole thing out...

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:  I mended the sheets again THIS time with the patch on the side that doesnt show...EARTH TO ME...Why don't I think of these things first???

You can barely see the mending...MUCH BETTER!

UP to the UPDitty:  The Brown sheet just kept on tearing and ripping. I broke down and bought new sheets for cheap off of Amazon. The purple sheets are still in rotation but I fear they are on their last leg. 

Vintage Nursery!

I know some pretty cool peeps that are expecting their little one any day now and they just completed his nursery. Its vintage inspired and many of the toys belonged to them when they were tots. The colors and theme are just plain cool, but I would expect nothing less from those two.

Vintage Inspired Boys Nursery

I had that Fisher Price phone too!

Old books and Fisher Price toys. 

More Vintage toys. Some are thrifted.

Fisher Price Farm, I remember how the doors "mooed" when you opened them. 

I Want to be One of "Those" Women

You've seen them. Perhaps you are "them". Those women that post their pics on Facebook after they just delivered their baby and they look INCREDIBLE! I almost never look at their new baby because I am in shock with how un-sweaty, un-blotchy and un-swollen they look. Their hair looks perfectly quaffed and their eyeliner and mascara are in place and not all smudgey looking. How does this happen? If it is you, how do you do it?
I'm really speaking out of jealousy here. My "post-labor" pic is not flattering at all!!! I took one because it is expected and I thought no one would see it. Well Husband REALLY wanted to show his co-workers the pic and I reluctantly said okay. Three weeks later I went to his work picnic and everyone told me how great I looked. I looked just okay, but their only reference of me was that post-labor pic, so I probably looked like a super model in comparison.
This time around I am going to try to look like one of "those" women.
"Why?" you may ask. "That seems pretty vain." And you are right it is TOTALLY vain, but guess what, I don't care! There is so much out of your control when  you go into labor and deliver your baby. You can have a Birth Plan but that is just your ideal of how you would like things to go. You can go early, late, in public, or home alone. It can go quickly or take forever, you may need drugs, the drugs may not work, you may need surgery...SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN! So let me at least try to have control of ONE thing and that is my "post labor" pic.
My Birth Plan is go natural again. My Post Labor Pic Plan is to go all faux. I plan to have my hair in a tight bun or braid of some sort. I will have eyeliner, mascara and any other cosmetic I can manage to get onto my face while having contractions. I also want to take a note from Christina Applegate and search for that perfect headband. And if I still look like a hot mess in that post-labor pic, I will use Photoshop.
Here is our pic after Em was born...

YOWZAH!!! After Em was born, this was the pic Husbands co-workers saw...OF COURSE I looked good after that. Anything would!

Ill just use this pic from our wedding, I look nice and young, I think people will buy it.

Ill just mash them up, like so...

Not so believable, how about this...

Well I still have some time. Vain or not, just give me this. 

Maternity and MotherHood Set

Maternity and Motherhood Fashion is very alluring...add this to your Pinterest Closet. Feeling sexy yet? 

Maternity and MotherHood Set by legendaryee 

This Says It All

No Words Needed

To Answer Your Questions

I forgot how much you sound like a broken record when you are pregnant. Not that you can help it but people are curious and ask you the same questions over and over and over, at work, at the store, at church and you answer with smile.

When are you due?

What are you having?

Do you have any names yet? 

When I was pregnant with Em I thought about wearing a T-Shirt that answered it all. Or walking around with a sandwich board. Either way I wouldn't have to talk :)

This time around I decided to do it.

My Read before Asking shirt :)

I searched around for the cheapest tank I could find. Forever 21 has tanks for $4.80. Then I bought the fabric Iron-On paper at Joann Fabrics and I bought the cheapest pack which has only 3 sheets. So I was SOOOooooo careful when creating this and practiced on regular paper, then I measured and drew lines so I knew exactly where to place the transfer paper. After being sooooo careful I was ready to iron and wouldn't you know I started ironing the stupid thing UPSIDE-DOWN! By the time I noticed, the damage was done to the tank and the paper...sigh. So I used one of my Hanes tanks and reprinted and will find some use for the ruined tank. 

Oh yeah, and while I was purchasing these items the cashier asked me..."Oh When are you Due?" and "Do you know what you having." I got a kick out of that. 

Good Times! 

Beautiful Things

Every so often I like to "window shop" on line and dream...

All these pieces are from White House Black Market 

White House Black Market Silver Set by legendaryee featuring a skinny belt